11月29日下午三点半，“苍穹之下——漫谈天文那些事”天文专题知识讲座”在行政楼报告厅拉开帷幕。本次讲座邀请到了南京大学天文与空间科学学院戴煜老师进行专题演讲。　　讲座开始，戴煜老师首先介绍了目前常用的四种探索行星内部的手段：利用地震波、卫星轨道变化、重力场结构与变化及磁场结构与变化。为了便于理解，他分别以地球与木星为例，介绍了这四种手段的具体操作方式及各自的优势和不足，并向大家分析了地球的重力场、磁场，简单解释了地球人类居住的特殊条件。接着，戴老师介绍，木星的中心是一个含硅酸盐和铁等物质组成的核区，核区物质在极高的温度和压力之下，物态难以预测，且核区边缘与外围物质没有明显的界限，物质组成与密度呈连续性过渡，因此不适宜人类居住。　　本次天文科普讲座极大地激发了同学们的探索精神，以普及科学知识的方式提高学生的学习积极性，启发他们的求知欲望和学习兴趣。图/文 信息服务学院}

图片疫情引发了许多负面情绪，父母和孩子的相处之道愈发显得重要。为此，我们和南京威雅心育中心的心理咨询师靖文老师深度探讨后整理了三个热门话题及其建议，如果你也正因此问题感到焦虑，或许读完此篇能给你带去信心。The pandemic has triggered many negative emotions, and therefore the way in which parents and children communicate has become increasingly important. Our school counsellor Mrs. Ronda (Wen) Jing has suggested three major topics centered around student wellbeing during the pandemic, as a way to help ease the anxiety felt amongst most parents.靖文心理教师16年教育教学工作经验国家二级心理咨询师南京师范大学心理健康教育硕士中国心理协会江苏分会会员注册正面管教学校讲师江苏省社会心理学会沙盘与心理分析专业委员会会员我们想对家长们说：请记住为人父母的意义，不是给予孩子舒适和富裕的生活，而是当你想到你是父母时，你的内心会充满力量，会感受到温暖，从而拥有克服困难的勇气和能力，带领孩子一起获得人生的成长。What we want to suggest to parents is: parenthood is more than just providing material things for our children. It is more about the courage and energy that you share while confronting challenges and obstacles together that help your children to grow.扫码预约 4月8日 南京威雅线上直播
图片/QUESTION ONE/孩子沉迷网络泡在虚拟世界里该如何应对？HOW TO COPE WITH THE GENERATION Z’s ADDICTION TO ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT 图片◎靖文
当你看到孩子在长时间的玩网络游戏/过度使用电子产品时，我们心里都会有一个区分：这是一个有问题的【孩子】？还是这个孩子是好的，只是【遇到】了不会带来正向反馈的游戏？把【问题】的边界放在哪里，会带来差异。首先，我们要把人和他的问题区分开，不要轻易给孩子贴标签。通常，沉迷网络的征兆有：产生耐受性：从最开始的玩10分钟就满足，到需要越来越长的时间对其他事情丧失兴趣：比如过去很喜欢运动，和伙伴们一起玩，现在去对诸如此类的事情丧失兴趣，喜欢花几个小时上网控制力下降：如果父母强行不让上网，可能会有一些不良表现。成瘾者往往借助药物或者某种活动和行为避免自己出现负面情绪。如果孩子在与父母争吵后便上网，说明他可能在用这种方式应对负面情绪。中国青少年研究中心发布的《中小学生短视频使用特点及其保护》调查报告显示，学习负担比较重、有心里话藏在心里、感到孤独、心理上有压力、对未来迷惘的中小学生，使用短视频的频率更高、时间更长。人际关系是否和谐、家庭教育情况等也直接影响学生对短视频的使用。◎Ronda When faced with a child that is excessively using their device, we should ask ourselves- Is it a problem child? Or perhaps is it a problem with the game they choose to play?Different questions and boundaries will result in different outcomes.However the case is presented, a child should never be labelled. Usually, the primary signs of virtual reality addiction are:Growing endurance: endurance and tolerance for gaming gets noticeably longer.Indifference towards other hobbies: children used to go out and play with others, while now they spend extended periods of time surfing on the internet.Lack of self-discipline: Intense reaction towards parents’ objection to time online. Some even need medical assistance to refrain themselves from being raged. It is possible that some children choose to spend time online as an outlet to release the negative feelings produced through arguing with their parents.A survey conducted by China Youth and Children Research Center indicates that pupils who are less confident with their academic performance, communication skills, social skills or future development are more likely to spend longer periods of time watching short videos. Social relationships and family education are also vital factors that can determine a child’s time spent on social media.图片其次，我们需要有一个清晰的、明确的标准：我们要看到什么样的结果，就代表【孩子不再沉迷网络了】。一种是他完全不玩电子产品/游戏了，一种是他依然会玩但知道去控制时间，父母也知道如何应付这个问题。但是在今天这样的时代背景下，让孩子完全不接触网络是不太可能实现的，成年人也都做不到。所以，我们要有一个更加灵活性的目标。这种灵活性在心理治疗上非常重要。大部分的心理学问题都不是说只能有一个硬指标，问题就能消失的。从父母视角来说，就要先描绘出“孩子不接触使用电子产品的时间段，希望他做点别的”的画面是什么呢，可以参考以下的几种思路：Additionally, we need to have a clear, unambiguous standard: what kind of results do we want to see to show that "children are no longer addicted to the Internet."One sign is the disinterest of all video games and products. The other is proper time management on gaming. However, in today’s context, it is impossible for children to be entirely unexposed to the Internet, which means a more flexible solution must be considered.This flexibility is very important in psychotherapy. Most psychological problems do not mean that there is one simple solution, and the problem can disappear. From the perspective of a parent, it is necessary to first depict the picture of "a time period when the child does not use an electronic product, and I hope that he will do something else", which can refer to the following ideas:◎设置明确地安全上网限制比如晚饭前后的1-2个小时可以使用，但睡前和早起的1-2个小时是非网络时间。以及管理电子设备上经常推送通知的APP,确保任何通知在晚上被关闭，促进孩子的健康作息。◎区分卧室和家庭活动空间孩子待在卧室的时间远超预期，意味着孩子与家人的相处时间变少，为此可以设置一个规则：在卧室不能使用电子设备。这样会有两种可能发生，一是孩子接触电子产品的时间少了，和父母相处的时间多了；二是他们浏览不健康的网页内容频率降低了。◎树立正确的榜样任何电子产品都不能代替“边缘共振”的情感体验。父母需要优先从自己做起有节制地使用电子产品，引导孩子反思与网络的关系。比如玩游戏一定会影响学习、生活么？其重点是学会合理控制时间而不是彻底放弃网络。◎学会倾听孩子孩子们感到愤怒、无聊或悲伤是正常的，但是如果你在他们心情不好的时候用电子产品来安慰他们，他们就永远不会学会自然地处理这些情绪。相反，他们可能会习惯甚至上瘾。下次当你的孩子心情不好的时候，不要给他们一个IPAD，找出是什么让他们烦恼，看看你能做些什么来改变这种情绪。有时候，你所要做的就是向你的孩子表示你的关心，并给他们一个拥抱。◎Set strict timeframe for online activities. Streaming time can be after dinner, for example, 1 to 2 hours. It is not suggested to give children this freedom particularly before bedtime or when they wake up.◎Define family spaces. If your child keeps staying alone in the bedroom, this means a decrease in time spent with the family. Parents can set up a rule such as: no electronic devices are allowed in the bedroom. This rule restricts children’s time on portable devices but encourages them to spend time with their family. Also, it helps lower the chances of them accessing children-inappropriate websites.◎Be a role model for your child. Control your own time on mobile devices. By doing this, you are introducing to your child, a healthy relationship between you and the social media, telling them the point is not about the device or the social media, but how much time we spend on them.◎Listen to your child. Children own the right to feel bored, angry and sad. However, they will never learn how to process those natural feelings if only comforted by electronic devices. Instead of passing them an iPAD when you spot their low mood, an attentive hug might be more meaningful to help find out the causes of their feelings./QUESTION TWO/如何避免爱的唠叨产生更高质量的亲子沟通？HOW TO FORM A HIGH QUALITY COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILD RATHER THAN JUST KIND-HEARTED NAGGING图片◎靖文
疫情、封控，叠加着空难，远方的战争，人们在现实生活已经积压了太多痛苦。回到家庭中，居家办公和居家学习同时出现，父母和孩子是否有过这些瞬间：为什么你不能像某某一样懂事？你要是上课认真听讲了，你能只考这么点分？不过就是个玩具，没有就没有，你哭什么？看到孩子恹恹地躺在床上玩手机会又气又急又担心么？能接受孩子学习成绩不好，但至少他要努力呀？一有困难就逃避，这种品质做什么都不成呀！父母以为为孩子操碎了心，但认真去分析一下这些唠叨，却都是拿自己孩子做比较、与孩子争论不休、贬低孩子、忽略孩子的情绪的种种体现，这是亲子关系中的四大“绊脚石”。那些在许多父母眼里是从爱出发的唠叨，给到孩子的却是一种情感上的负疚，往往传递到孩子那里便是：我不是他们心中优秀的孩子，我是不被认可的。◎Ronda Pandemic, lockdowns, plus news about air disasters and war, are all causes for pressures and negative feelings which can seem continuous. When working from home must coexist with learning from home, subtle mood swings can lead to thought provoking moments:Does it make you feel angry or sad when you see your child playing on their phone on their bed?The attitude of not making an effort or not trying counts for underachievement.Why can’t you be like other children?Is this the best score you can get?Please stop crying, it’s just a toy........All these negative thoughts reflect parents’ anxiety and worries. Comparing your child with others, arguing with your child, belittling your child or ignoring their feelings are the barriers to a healthy parent-child relationship.Naggings and comments like those mentioned above, can make children feel guilty themselves, since the message they receive is: I am a horrible child. I am not appreciated.心理研究理论依据中“依恋理论”认为，一个孩子在成长过程中的悲伤、痛苦和无助是需要被父母及时听到、理解和安抚的。如果这些需要被及时满足，一方面，孩子会形成对自己的积极看法，认为自己有被爱的价值，在以后面对挑战时会有更多的勇气；另一方面，孩子会形成人际关系的积极期待，更能够在与人交往时自然地靠近对方，与别人建立彼此信任的关系。如何缓解矛盾，心理学家给到这样的建议：The "attachment theory" in the theoretical basis of psychological research believes that the sadness, pain and helplessness of a child in the process of growing up need to be heard, understood and comforted by parents in time. If these needs are met, on the one hand, the child will form a positive view of himself, think that he has the value of being loved, and will have more courage in the face of challenges in the future; on the other hand, the child will form a positive expectation of interpersonal relationships, and be more able to naturally approach each other when interacting with others, and establish a relationship of mutual trust with others.Regarding how to ease the conflict, here are some suggestions from a psychologist:◎ 不要轻易被怒气俘获，开启“战争”，它对每一方的伤害都太巨大了。遇到冲突，避免瞬时反应。理想状态下，父母有权利按自己的方式生活，孩子也有权利选择按自己的方式生活。在父母的眼界下需要允许一些质疑、看不惯，父母和孩子不必非得取得一致。但双方需要有良好的沟通过程，彼此了解对方的想法。◎
留心自己的语言和非语言动作，沟通的态度决定了孩子的反应。父母每天随口而出几十次的话，正在慢慢影响着孩子的性格。孩子往往能从父母的话语和表情当中获得一些讯号，放大一些负面的细节，产生错误的理解，所以要注意言行一致。 ◎ Don’t let your feeling control you and put you in a ‘war’. Try not to respond immediately when conflict happens. Both parents and children have their right to choose a lifestyle of their own. Allow spaces for different opinions and voices. To talk and understand each other’s ideas are the best way to communicate.◎ Be responsible for your words and actions. Your communication style can decide your child’s reaction. It is normally easier for children to capture those negative signs that eventually result in misunderstanding for both sides. It is vital to ensure your words and behavior are consistent.不能小看亲子冲突带来的伤害，但也不必过分担心偶尔对孩子没有耐心、让孩子失望会给他们带来“累积性创伤”。真实的人际关系中一定有或大或小的破裂，亲子关系也不例外，接受一点自己会犯错的可能，也原谅身边的人可能犯错，给我们带来不快。人人都有一点这样的弹性，无论是父母，孩子，生活都会容易一些，关键在于关系破裂的时候如何修复和处理。One should never underestimate the conflict with their children. Neither should one worry too much about their patience toward children or the possible ‘traumatic effect’ produced as the consequence. No relationship is perfect, and parent-children relationship is no exception. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves forgiveness.扫码预约 4月8日 南京威雅线上直播
图片/QUESTION THREE/怎么消除社交隔离带来的孤单压抑等负面情绪？HOW TO DEAL WITH THE LONELINESS AND FEELING OF SUPPRESION DURING LOCK DOWN心理研究说，青春期的孩子在疫情中因为遭遇了“社交隔离”，可能会表现出对立情绪，容易分心、悲伤、焦虑和紧张不安；此外，头痛、胃痛和难以入睡也是出现心理问题的常见症状。网络是把双刃剑，抛却盲目地滚动社交媒体，没日没夜地玩上电子游戏之外，网络仍然是我们在物理隔离期间维持社会联系的有效渠道。不妨鼓励孩子们利用社交媒体、邮件、Teams和好朋友、同龄人保持热切联系。世界卫生组织也建议过，在线锻炼课程是在家保持健康的一种方式。而且即便是隔离解除，这些运动依然适用。这些简单的方法都能帮助孩子保持健康的社交生活，提高心理健康水平。对于更加年幼的孩子来说，不能出门所带来的负面情绪其实会更多一些。父母在此时的重要性更高，与孩子的“情感共振”显得尤为重要。这时，温柔的对话、更多地肢体接触、经常性地拥抱、一起玩耍等充满爱意的照顾和关怀，会有助于语言技能、社交互动、自我调节和压力荷尔蒙控制系统的发育等等。为了家长和同学们在疫情期间营造更好地亲子关系，理性思考社会事件，共同学习成长，我们为大家推荐了一些相关书籍，如同杨绛先生所说：“我们的阅读面很广。所以人心惶惶时，我们并不惶惶然。”◎Ronda Psychological research says that adolescent children may show antagonistic emotions due to "social isolation" during lockdown, and are prone to distraction, sadness, anxiety and nervousness; in addition, headaches, stomach pains and difficulty falling asleep are also common symptoms of psychological problems.The Internet is a double-edged sword. Apart from indulging in short videos and gaming, people have relied on it for the purpose of social interaction throughout the pandemic. Children can be guided on how to use social media platforms such as emails or Teams to keep connected with friends and families. It is also suggested by the WHO that online exercise classes are a way to stay healthy at home. Solutions found during lock down are still effective even after the lockdown is lifted, to maintain both our mental and physical health.Younger children might find it more difficult to cope when there is nowhere to go outside. It is suggested to their parents that small talk and frequent body contact with your children would help ease their negative feelings. Also, showing them you care and your love through playing games and hugging can not only help them improve language skills and interaction capability, but also their ability to self-adjust and regulate their stress hormone levels.Here below are books recommended for you to build up a healthy relationship with your child/parent. As the famous Chinese scholar Mrs. Jiang Yang said ‘Read as much as you can. So you will be less scared when others are.’小说类《鼠疫》图片诺贝尔文学奖得主阿尔贝·加缪的代表作。在这本小说中，作者营造了一种博弈的氛围，一种从麻木到恐惧，从绝望到到反抗的人类思想。二战时期的欧洲，一切从街头出现的死老鼠开始；接着，官方宣布鼠疫并实行封城；然后天气转热，疫情加剧；人们开始采用更科学的方法处理感染者的遗体；最后，十个月的斗争终见曙光……作者在书里写道：“能够战胜瘟疫的，只有人类的真诚和善良。”其实，每一次都是如此。这本作品除了纪实描写，还有大量隐喻的内容藏于其中，要想看懂可能需要具备一定的理解能力，更适合稍大一点的孩子哦。《白雪乌鸦》如果说加缪笔下的鼠疫让人感觉还有一定的距离，那迟子建描绘的这场灾难则会让你觉得大自然的考验从未离开过我们的国土。1910年冬至1911年春，在东北哈尔滨爆发了鼠疫，作者以此事件为蓝本，从史实角度出发，为我们展现了百年前一场巨大瘟疫带来的灾难与奇迹。在这本书里，我们可以看到一些鲜为人知的历史，也能看到当时人类面对的苦难与困境，更能看到生命的顽强与平等和折射出来的人性的光辉。细腻柔和又充满力量，这位女性作者用文字给我们带来别样的感动。《花冠病毒》图片2012年出版的小说，当时看来是浓浓的科幻意味，但现时看来，却充满了当下的色彩。书中，一个拥有上千万人口的大城市突发瘟疫，紧接着经历了城市的封锁、民众的出逃、各种无序的混乱，还有，人们勇敢的斗争与抗击。毕淑敏在书里写道：“20NN年，人类与病毒必有一战……”，而现在的我们正在经历这个过程，只希望山河无恙，人间皆安！纪实类《血疫：埃博拉的故事》图片以纪实的手法讲述了埃博拉——这个世界上最可怕的病毒之一的爆发始末。和普通纪实文学不太一样的是，作者在这部作品里制造了重重悬念，也让情节曲折起伏。我们在读这部作品时，仿佛回到上世纪八十年代，置身于危机四伏的非洲大陆。凶残的线性病毒让一无所知的病患和照顾他们的医护陷入痛苦的绝境。这场用鲜血浇灌的狰狞战役还在持续，人们知道，面对强大的自然，人类只有用尊重和永恒的谦逊才能勉强应对。影片类《BBC：人体奥秘》图片生命的起源→生命的存续→大脑的形成→危险世界，这是人一生中必经的过程。通过影片，我们有史以来第一次以如此清晰的方式，目睹胚胎在一个月大到十星期大这个过程中的面部形成过程。令人吃惊的是，直到这个过程结束，胚胎的体积也还只有一颗菜豆那么大！《BBC：人体奥秘》根据真实的影像和最新的科学研究，用CG动画的形式呈现出一个无比形象、神奇的人体世界。片中还介绍了诸如“打嗝是从鱼类和两栖类继承下来的行为”等冷门却有趣的知识。原来，在你我的身体深处，居然隐藏着如此之多的秘密！《手术两百年/无影灯下》图片本片荣获“中国第一部全景展现人类与疾病抗争的科学纪录片”和“2019年度最具影响力十大纪录片之一”。播出至今，豆瓣评分9.4、超过70%的观众给出五星好评。摄制组历时3年，前往英国、美国、德国、法国、意大利、匈牙利、土耳其、印度等12个国家，走访重要的医学博物馆、医院和医疗研究机构，采访到50多位国际顶级专家，以此呈现手术的发展历程和未来展望。除了书籍，还为大家整理了一些国内外线上博物馆参观链接，我们可以在云端逛博物馆啦！有些博物馆的网站上还有各类手工教程的视频，不出门也能进行艺术创造。比如纽约大都会博物馆官网上专门为7-12岁的孩子设置了一个亲子教育项目：#met kids,这个项目由美国著名策展人、专家、研究学者、教育学者来提供学术资料和有趣的内容，分为3个大板块，手绘互动地图、展品搜索引擎和影像专栏。In addition to books, we have also compiled some online museum visit links at home and abroad for everyone; we can visit museums in the clouds!Some museum websites also have videos of various handicraft tutorials, so you can create art while staying home. For example, the official website of the Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York) has set up a parent-child education project #met kids for children aged 7-12. This project is contributed by famous American curators, experts, researchers and educational scholars through presenting academic materials of interesting content , divided into 3 major sections respectively: hand-drawn interactive maps, exhibit search engines and video columns.更多链接请戳More links available here: ：莫高窟：https://www.e-dunhuang.com/故宫博物院：①数字多宝阁：https://www.dpm.org.cn/shuziduobaoge/html.html②数字文物库：https://digicol.dpm.org.cn③历年展览与陈列：https://www.dpm.org.cn/classify/exhibition.html④全景故宫：http://webapp.vizen.cn/gugong_app_pc/index.html天津博物馆：①耀世奇珍：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/WgeD49uvrhpavCuMuk3JDggpPKrfrbFG/yaoshiqizhen/tour.html②青蓝雅静—馆藏青花瓷器陈列：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/diaFpCLxYbs9VR6tl4OCgYBeLJkSAXyT/qinghuaci/tour.html③聚赏珍玉—馆藏古代玉器陈列：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/s9j9rdk4JsL5EkIbUNY2z2W3zKWEYxBd/jushangzhenyu/tour.html④镜影—馆藏古代铜镜展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/gqoI4MYeyPnITbXdpkC77vDSgSx4wn4l/jingying/tour.html⑤清代前期绘画特展：http://www.tjbwg.com/qqhuihuazhan/tour.htm⑥清代中期绘画特展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/t9oca3wP67QzYzcyQ1jWINqkUZBks9g2/qingdaizhongqi/tour.html⑦动·境——中华古代体育文物展：http://www.tjbwg.com/tiyuzhan/tour.html⑧御苑藏珍——颐和园精品文物展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/upxKuD8aUFpyFyUFqFL5iHIGsstWxxEA/Yiheyuan/tour.html三星堆：①青铜的对话——黄河与长江流域青铜文明展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/VqhnRLCStCtUV9KcaSCJ1nhh8aWiOhFN/sanxingdui/tour.html②宅兹中国——陕西西周青铜器精品展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/qLG4m33ARYJa3jPcv1iFAtfxBSnPax9u/zzzg/tour.html③人与神——古代南方丝绸之路文物精华展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/Q1dr4s1ZAJTfRWzA4xpRt4ZVhxOkVaQ4/rys/tour.html④和乐天下——中原古代音乐文物瑰宝展：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/A27IfYyK19kCoOlnEWrB784s7cYu63sl/hltx/tour.html⑤发现三星堆：三星堆与巴蜀考古展”：http://quanjing.artron.net/scene/3PI8cyI6kXE18EXHXWK76JgBwPitFrBJ/sxd/tour.html卢浮宫：http://t.cn/zORqjUv 法国吉美博物馆：http://t.cn/zTuId7Q 纽约大都会艺术博物馆：https://www.metmuseum.org大英博物馆：https://sketchfab.com/models/53bbed1b8c034cb5ba4f719b5a98e771英国国家美术馆：https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/华盛顿国家自然历史博物馆：http://naturalhistory.si.edu/vt3/梵蒂冈博物馆：http://www.museivaticani.va/content/museivaticani/en.html知易行难，当局者迷。许多家长会说，道理我都懂，只是落到实处就力不从心。孩子，特别是青春期的孩子仿佛来自另一个星球的生物，没来由的烦恼，没征兆的闹脾气。这个时候，也许该找个帮手。虽然我们不喜欢把自己的情绪袒露给他人，但我们要承认寻求他人帮助是每一个年龄段都必须经历的过程，尤其是青春期的人，因为你总能从他人身上吸取到一些帮助。在南京威雅这个大社区团体中，心育中心便给所有人提供一个倾诉和释放的途径，只要勇于开口。亲爱的家长和同学们，如果你还需要进一步的帮助，可以通过以下途径获得支持：南京汤山威雅实验学校心育中心咨询预约邮箱ronda.jing@waisnj.comMany parents would say that it’s easier said than done. Children can be like creatures from another planet. They can get annoyed all of a sudden and it is exactly those times that every parent wants a helper.Most of us choose not to open up to others. However, we have to admit that knowing how to seek for help is a necessary part of growing up, especially for teenagers. The center for student wellbeing at WASNJ is established for providing any community members an outlet and encourages everyone here to be open and speak up.
For any further help or to make an appointment at WASNJ Center for Student Wellbeing, please contact: ronda.jing@waisnj.com}